Writing this sucks. I've considered keeping this all to myself because I fear I'm going to sound incredibly ungrateful and whiny alas here I am sharing some more brain farts with you. I am struggling with blogging, youtube and where I want it to go, produce and there's honestly days now where I consider just giving up with it.
I'm a bit of a perfectionist I guess, I stress and get worried a lot over things that really don't need to be stressed over and I put so much pressure on myself to do the best I can. I started TrudyJohanna with a mind full of ideas and goals I wanted to hit and now I'm running on empty and the things I make are suffering from it, especially statistically. I've spoken about not comparing your work to others on here before and how numbers aren't everything and that is still so important to remember but I guess it would be a lie if I said I wasn't jealous of other smaller (even bigger ones too!) bloggers and vloggers doing incredibly well for themselves in a small time frame - deservedly! It makes me wish I hadn't been so nervous a few years a go and just had taken the plunge. I sort of feel that I'm uninspired and at a standstill.
I haven't done anything fashion related, filmed an actual sit down video in so long because I actually get so frustrated I just want to do a cry and binge in Netflix land. See what I mean about putting pressure on myself? I bloody love every single person that reads or watches and enjoys what I do because BLOGGING IS HARD. It's not just as simple and slapping a few words down, adding a pretty photo in and pressing publish. I get so many lovely comments and emails, on days like today when I feel like I'm to be honest, shit at this, they make me feel so much better and I wish I could give you all a massive hug and tell you how great YOU are. I don't feel the need to have a gazillion, billion followers. I'm not in this for that but it's like you don't buy a house plant and then don't look after it. You want it to grow and thrive. (What a crap metaphor.)
This is not me waving goodbye to this ridiculous but exciting internet world just yet. I guess what I'm really asking is for some help. Post ideas, video ideas, what you like and don't like and if you're a blogger too how you deal with the same kinda lull feeling.
To be honest, I think we can all agree I just need to stop complaining and have right ol' kick up the arse and get motivated.